You are here
The Existential Importance of the Penis: A Guide to Understanding the Sexuality of Men
Title of Event: The Existential Importance of the Penis: A Guide to Understanding the Sexuality of Men
Description of Event:
The essential thesis of this workshop is that the penis is a conduit for male emotion, and thus regulates the closeness/distance that men will allow themselves to experience in intimate relationships. While men often pay a great deal of conscious attention to their penis, the unconscious messages our penis sends us can be much more profound and difficult to decipher. In this way, the penis “speaks” for many men who are dealing with repressed, unacknowledged, or unexpressed emotions. The penis is the means through which we are being alerted that we are in a situation that doesn’t feel safe, genuine, or secure. In other words, a central tenet of this workshop is the notion that our unconscious will speak to us through our penis and self-protectively disrupt a sexual interaction due to some perceived danger or threat. Existentially, we are being alerted to a situation that imperils or jeopardizes our literal or emotional existence.
Existential psychotherapy deals with people’s problems related to their existence. That is, what it means to them to be alive, live meaningful lives, and have strong, connected relationships. For many men, the penis is their path to living a life of such substance. A fully functional penis is central to their sense of wholeness, desirability, belonging, and connection. Many of the men who present for sex therapy with erectile difficulties will lament, “I feel like less of a man,” or “I feel so broken,” or “I feel so weak.” To these men, their problematic erectile functioning wounds them at their core, and their feelings of vulnerability are palpable. Talk to the men who are in relationships and cannot understand what their penis is saying to them when they consistently lose their erection just prior to penetration. Observe the sense of humiliation, vulnerability, embarrassment, loss of self-esteem, and loss of sense of self from the men who fear that their breakdown in penile functioning will result in their being unwanted by a partner and their resulting fears of loneliness, isolation, and impotence. Psychiatrist Irvin Yalom, M.D. reminds us that sex is the vital life force, and, as such, often counters existential fears of death. Many aging men who find they are unable to function sexually with an erect penis experience severe bout of death-anxiety as they confront the reality that they are aging, and life is no longer a continuing spiral upward.
So, does this mean that men who are unable to have erect penises cannot enjoy sex or live a meaningful life? Certainly not. We know that sex and existence is about more than just the penis. Men are perfectly capable of creating meaningful connections (sexual and otherwise), regardless of the manner in which their penis behaves.
Date of Event: April 18, 2026 - December 31, 2026
Location: Online Asynchronous
Presenter/Speaker: Dan Watter, Ed.D.
Company/Organization Sponsor: Modern Sex Therapy Institutes (MSTI)
Contact Name: Rachel Needle
Contact Telephone Number: (561) 379-7207
Contact Email: info@modernsextherapy.com
AASECT Approved CEs: 4